Sophia, aged ONE MONTH old - where on earth did 4 weeks vamoose to? I swear we only came home from the hospital a few days ago...

It's been, and continues to be such an incredible journey. Every day brings something new, joyous, challenging, it's becoming such a rich varied experience as Sophia stays awake for a little bit longer and starts to respond to Stu and I with facial expressions and snuggling into us. Although, I don't think I will ever really get used to sleeping in 1 - 4 hour slots around the clock whenever Sophia sleeps. It's something you learn to manage and you do adapt, but after the nights of only 3 hours sleep in total between the hours of midnight and 9am all bets are off as to what state I am in!

One thing I didn't realise about being a new Mum is how much you are observed and watched. It begins in the hospital, and behind the observation sits judgement and opinion. Is she bonding with her baby? Is she feeding her well? Is she caring for her well? Is she (the dreaded phrase) a good Mother? Every time you invite people into your home, or go out into the world people are watching and judging you as a Mother. And at times it's terrifying. I've never done this before and we've spent the past month making it up as we go along. I am so glad I banned visitors for the first two weeks as I recovered; I think if people had been in my face telling me what to do, or to do things differently when I was in that physically weakened state, it would have destroyed my burgeoning confidence in my ability to mother my little girl in the way that is right for us. I think people forget that - their experience worked for them, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's what's best for Stu, Sophia and I. And you know what? I think we're doing a great job, all things considered.

Everyone has an opinion, whether they vocalise it to your face, behind your back, or sit quietly and think they are holding their tongue when in fact their disapproval is written across their face! Some people feel they need to thrust their opinion onto you (you are doing it wrong/ do it this way), others offer advice circuitously (we did it this way) , others offer advice in a more sensitive way (have you thought about trying ___? It might help you with ___) , whilst others observe and leave us be. On the whole I do listen (and then often discard) the advice/opinion dumped onto my lap, but on occasion, I do have a fiery retort! Don't take it personally if you've been on the receiving end of one of these, I'm very protective of my little cub and our den!

The lady now sleeps, and so must I after feeds and then settling at midnight, 3 am, 5am and 9am...